Could a Simple Chemistry Lesson be at the Heart of a Winning Formula for England at the World Cup?

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AIM:

To win a football match, by way of scoring more goals than the opposing side, and in doing so by keeping within the laws of the game.

APPARATUS:

a) 16 players (11 of whom must only be on the field of play at the start of the game)
b) Management team + a bench
c) Matching shirts + shorts + socks (players must provide their own footwear)
d) Seeded grass area with the appropriate markings in white paint
e) Two standard sized goals with netting
f) One official 'Jabulani' adidas ball
g) Flags on sticks
h) One referee + whistle + watch + coloured cards
i) Two assistant referees + flags
j) One further official + display board
k) Crowd of paying spectators (optional)

METHOD:

Manager:

1/ Pick one goalkeeper, 4 defenders, 3 or 4 midfield players and 2 or 3 strikers, up to a maximum of 11 players. There is no limit to how many players you can pick from any one club.

2/ Use a tactical formation familiar to the squad selected for the tournament. We shall call this 'Plan A.'
Do not be afraid to experiment if necessary.

3/ Prepare for different scenarios on the training pitch to accommodate even the unlikeliest of events. Remember practice makes perfect

4/ Have a 'Plan B' in case Plan A is not working.

5/ Name your starting XI more than two hours before kick-off. For example, tell them over breakfast (Continental or English style) on the day of a game that starts at 3pm.

6/ Be open with YOUR players. Express your opinions and thoughts to them, and in turn allow them to convey their views and share with you any underlying issues they may have. Bond with them as if they were your family.

7/ At the end of the day do NOT forget YOU are the boss!

Players:

1/ Once the game has begun, pass the ball to your fellow players (those in the same coloured shirts as yourself), rather than to the opponents.

2/ Move the ball in a forward direction whenever possible.

3/ Continue to play the ball back and forth to your team-mates until the final movement of the ball results in the (whole of the) ball crossing a white line painted between two upright sticks 12 yards apart. This is called a goal!

4/ Do your utmost to stop the opposition from doing likewise (legally of course).

5/ After a goal is scored YOU may then run around and celebrate in whatever fashion floats YOUR boat. Be warned - do NOT remove YOUR shirt in celebration or jump into the crowd. These are law breaking offences and could also result in injury. However YOU may perform acrobatics, themed dance routines, kiss, hug, point, cup your ear and shake your booty if you so wish.

6/ Remember a WAG is NOT for life, so sharing a WAG is at the owners discretion. Do NOT do to someone else what YOU would not like done to yourself. Be polite and always ask (JT) first!

RESULT:

Not known at the time of writing, as kick-off is still some 15 hours away. However the bookmakers odds are as follows:

England to win 4/9
Match Drawn 10/3
Slovenia to win 15/2

(Odds supplied courtesy of Betfred)

CONCLUSION:

An England win and they qualify for a place in the last 16.

Any other result and the express jet will be fuelled and ready to transport the 'prima donnas' to a safe house for their own protection, and a brown envelope containing a document labelled 'P45' will be winging its way to the Italian, Mr. 'not so fabio' Capello, c/o The FA, the governing body of association football in England.


Any questions???

The Latest World Cup News

Ivory Coast captain Didier Drogba's participation in the World Cup is in serious doubt after he broke a bone close to his elbow.
The Chelsea striker, 32, picked up the injury 16 minutes into his side's 2-0 friendly win over Japan yesterday, in Saitama.
However coach Sven-Goran Eriksson said there was still a chance the talismanic Drogba could feature in South Africa.
"He got a bad injury and may have an operation, but he is not out. The doctors can't say any more than that," he told BBC Radio 5 live - BBC Sport

Nigeria suffered a blow just under a week away from the start of the World Cup as they announced that star midfielder John Obi Mikel had been left out of the squad because he did not want to aggravate a knee injury.
The 23-year-old Chelsea star will be replaced in the Nigeria squad by uncapped Brown Ideye, who plays for Sochaux in France - Fifa.com

Brazil have two injury worries in the shape of goalkeeper Julio Cesar and left-back Michel Bastos.
Cesar, 30, missed training for the second consecutive day on Friday and had intensive physiotherapy on the back injury he suffered in Wednesday's 3-0 win against Zimbabwe.
The 26-year-old Bastos damaged his ankle in training.
However, both players are expected to be fit for Brazil's opening fixture against North Korea on the 15th June - BBC Sport

New Zealand coach Ricki Herbert remains bullish about his side's chances at the World Cup despite going down 3-1 to Slovenia (Group opponents of England) in a warm-up match in Maribor on Friday.
Two excellent free-kicks from star Milivoje Novakovic, and a tap-in from Andraz Kirm was enough to see off the challenge from the All Whites, who saw Rory Fallon drive home their solitary goal - Fifa.com

Italy midfielder Andrea Pirlo faces a race against time to be fit for the finals after suffering a calf injury in Thursday's 2-1 friendly defeat to Mexico.
The 31-year-old will miss the World Cup holders' opener against Paraguay on the 14th June and there are fears he could be ruled out of the whole tournament.
The AC Milan playmaker has left the Azzurri's training camp in the Italian Alps to recover at home but is scheduled to fly to South Africa with the team on the 8th June.
"It's an injury which worries me but there's time," said team doctor Enrico Castellacci - BBC Sport

France suffered a shock 1-0 defeat against China in their final warm-up match on Friday.
China, who are ranked 84th in the world, scored the only goal in the friendly on Reunion Island in the Indian Ocean in the 68th minute.
France play Uruguay in their opening match on the 11th June and are hoping to avoid a repeat of their group-stage exit during Euro 2008 - BBC Sport

Chile striker Humberto Suazo may be forced to sit out the World Cup if he is deemed to have used a banned substance when trying to overcome injury, according to Chilean newspaper El Mercurio.
Having acquired a hamstring problem that threatened to rule him out of the competition in a friendly against Israel last Sunday, the powerful forward underwent a course of platelet injections, which have been proven to speed up the muscle healing process. These injections, however, may be illegal according to revised WADA (World Anti-Doping Agency) rules.
The 29-year-old was in prolific form during the qualifying campaign, registering on 10 occasions to send the Chileans through as the second best team from South America.
Chile is appearing in its first World Cup since 1998, and faces Honduras in its opening Group H game on the 16th June - Goal.com

Holland coach Bert van Marwijk fears Arjen Robben may miss the World Cup after the winger suffered a hamstring injury against Hungary.
Robben appeared as a second-half substitute in today's friendly against Hungary and scored twice in the 6-1 romp before hurting his hamstring in the closing stages.
The Bayern Munich ace will undergo a scan on the problem on Sunday, meaning he will not travel with the rest of the Dutch squad to South Africa this evening.
Van Marwijk is hoping that Robben's injury will not prove serious enough to rule him out of the World Cup, but he is braced for the worst - Skysports.com

Denmark's injury problems are mounting.
Thomas Kahlenberg is set to miss Denmark's World Cup warm-up match against South Africa tomorrow.
The Wolfsburg midfielder is struggling with injury while Jon Dahl Tomasson is also doubtful for the match. The Feyenoord striker was absent from yesterday's training session and was to be assessed today.
Goalkeeper Thomas Sorensen, defender Simon Kjaer and striker Nicklas Bendtner are already missing as Denmark complete their preparations for their Group A matches against Holland, Cameroon and Japan - Fifa.com

Could the USA really threaten England in South Africa? - 2010 World Cup Betting News with Betfred

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With England due to kick-off their 2010 World Cup campaign three weeks today, the hype about this summer's World Cup is well and truly underway, and you can't move for adverts in support of our national team. However one football expert reckons Fabio Capello's side face a tricky task early on in the competition.

England, who are third favourites in the World Cup 2010 betting, face the USA in Rustenburg in their opening game on June 12th. The Three Lions are well-fancied to win this clash at 1/2 with Betfred, while the Americans are 5/1 to cause a shock.

One man who thinks it may not be so easy for England is Sir Alex Ferguson, who thinks the USA have a "very good chance at qualifying", which could see some punters seeing the Americans to win Group C at 5/1 as a reasonable shout.

The Manchester United manager said there are a number of players in Bob Bradley's squad who are more than capable of springing a surprise on opposition defences in South Africa.

"I don't think they're going to be overwhelmed with the atmosphere of the World Cup, the importance of the World Cup, the intensity," Ferguson said.

"I think that will be easy for them. I think they'll be used to that. Those players have that, Landon Donovan, Clint Dempsey. Dempsey has had a great season in England this year."

He added: "They are very athletic, they apply themselves very well, and are difficult to play against."

England and the USA, the two favourites to progress from Group C, also have to play Slovenia and Algeria. The eastern European nation failed to clock up a point in their only other World Cup appearance in 2002, while the African side also have a poor record in the tournament. They are 15/8 and 10/3 respectively to make it through to the second round, something I can't see happening.

Remember, this is the same USA side that is ranked 14 in the world and made it into the final of the Confederations Cup last summer, beating Spain on the way and giving Brazil a real game in the final. So not only should they make it out of the group, but they could go even further - the online betting makes them 20/1 shots to be knocked out in the semis.


My Opening Tip of the Tournament:

England and USA to qualify from Group C at 4/5 with Betfred, while England at 3/1 to get knocked out in the quarter-finals should also be considered by those punters seeking value.

England v United States - Saturday 12th June, kick-off 7.30pm, live on the ITV.
England v Algeria - Friday 18th June, kick-off 7.30pm, live on the ITV.
England v Slovenia - Wednesday 23rd June, kick-off 3pm, live on the BBC.

By Drew Swainston
(Guest writer from Betfred on behalf of Beer Footy and Birds!)